Paaka Katha (final talk), the parents of the
bride/groom, along with one or two very close relatives/friends
go to the other party's house to formally settle the marriage.
It may be followed by a dinner/ lunch.
A ceremony called Aashirwad (a substitute for Roka)
in which the bride's parents, close relatives and may be family
friends go over to the groom's house and give him their
aashirwad, may be along with a token gift. The same is done by
the groom's family, they go to the girl's house and bestow her
with their blessings. Usually, the girl is given some gold
ornament on this occasion by the boy's parents. Notably, the
groom / bride do not accompany the family on these occasions. Aashirwad
is as good as an engagement. There is no formal engagement
ceremony among Hindu Bengalis.
On the day of the wedding (or within a week
before wedding), the groom's and the bride's father offer
prayers to the ancestors. A pundit is called and a pooja
takes place in their respective
houses. This is called Vriddhi.
Before sunrise on the day of the wedding Dadhi
Mangal is performed. The bride and the groom, in their
respective homes, wear fresh clothes and are offered milk based
products (curd, milk, meetha etc) to eat. This is done
because the whole day, till the wedding ceremony is over, both
of them are in vrata and don't eat anything. This is preceded by
a happily married couple fetching water (ideally from a well) in
Shubha Drishti and Mala badal
takes place when the groom comes. The girl's mother receives him
at the gate with an aarti. This is called Varan.
At the muhurat, the boy and the girl set eyes on each
other for the first time, that is why it is called shubh drishti.
Then the exchange of garlands takes place (mala badal).
Vivah, the actual wedding ceremony, happens at a chosen muhurat.
Kanyadan is called Sampradaan unlike other Hindu
marriages it is not done by the father, instead it is done by
some one in the family (with same gotra ) like paternal
uncle etc. Then Saat Pheras take place around the agni
(sacred fire) to the chant of Sanskrit mantras.
The baraatis, except the groom and one or two of his
cousins or friends, go home. The next morning the girl's parting
is filled with Sindoor by the groom (again) and a
sumptuous lunch follows where the bride and the groom sit with
each other and are served a huge feast in new utensils. This is
called Baasi Byah.
The couple is then blessed by all the elders in
the family and the groom is given gifts. Then the Bidai
takes place at the right muhurat, usually before sun set,
when people from the groom's house come and fetch the couple.
Next day afternoon, the groom's family and
friends are invited for lunch . The close relatives of the bride
are also invited. In this the bride is formally invited into the
family. The groom pledges responsibility of her food and
clothing and as a sign of fulfilling that pledge, gifts her a
new sari and serves her food.